Flava Flav looks like a walking disease who prepares his fried chicken on one of his clocks. You would eat at his restaurant why? Mmm, tasty coke laced chicken wings!

Read more about Flav’s special chicken at Necole Bitchie

Permission to gripe for a moment?

My usually enjoyable early morning date with rap-up.com was somewhat soured when I stumbled upon the latest offering from Snoop Dogg: he of the alarming Katy Perry/Jessica Mauboy/Pussycat Dolls features. Rap-Up gives us a sample of some of the lyrical delights brought forth by the self-declared ex-pimp of Long Beach:

“My life is like a movie/ I was thuggin’ in the Beach when I lit my first doobie/ In the same city when I got my first piece of coochie/ Where I sold my first dime and I held my first Uzi.”

Snoop, how can I put this delicately? When I read these lyrics I honestly forgot that it was 2011. Don’t get me wrong, there’s very little more disturbing in this world than the sight of one of hip hop’s bonafide legends dressed in a three-piece gummy bear suit, prancing his gangly ass around in lollipop land. You should be making killer rap records, not playing second fiddle to pop princesses. But songs about how you were raised in the hood? Open your eyes! Squint through that retro kush smoke fogging your vision! Gangsta rap, when it was good, was ridiculously so. And you will never hear me utter a word against the game-changing greatness that was Doggystyle (not to mention The Chronic, Original Gangster, Straight Outta Compton…). But hip hop is not just revolutionary, it is evolutionary. The gangster thing is so tired, particularly when packaged more as an act of self-reassurance on the part of now comfortably mainstream Snoop than as a genuine articulation of inner-city life. If rap is the CNN of the people then “Raised in da Hood” makes painfully evident just how far Snoop’s mansion sits from the street.
We all know where you came from, Snoop. It’s time to tell us where you’re going.

It’s been a week of full-blown no holds barred ridicaliss-ness in Sydney. Not least at the Big Day Out, where as you cannot fail to see, Mr Lupe Fiasco attracted an impressive crowd despite the insane Sydney heat. The motley audience of rockers, hip hoppers, indie hipsters, and those shirtless guys with sombreros, were blessed with one of the most energetic and euphoric sets this long-time festival head has ever seen, complete with crowd sing-alongs, shirt-ripping, slamming guitar solos, and of course a dose of hip hop flavoured moshing (this was the Big Day Out, after all).

Crowd favourites and Lupe staples like “The Instrumental”, “Superstar”, and “Kick, Push” were bolstered by material so fresh that Monday night’s Enmore crown hadn’t even had time to upload it to You Tube yet. And if tracks like “State Run Radio” and “Scream” are anything to go by, the upcoming and so-agonisingly-anticipated “Lasers” will showcase the electric and undeniably infectious energy of a Lupe set, articulating the frustrations and disillusionments of the past few years through a punchier sound than that of the previous albums while still retaining the element of quirk and off-beat funkiness that has always set Mr Fiasco apart from his contemporaries.

It hasn’t been an easy ride for Lupe, but one thing he has always been able to count on is his loyal and passionate fan base, whose determination to see their man continue to grow and flourish as an artist is rewarded tenfold with the quality of show that Lupe delivers. His own evident appreciation of the love positively pulsing out of the audience back to him creates a mood that can only be described – sorry, Mos – as ecstatic. And judging by the reaction of some of the less Fiasco-familiar members of the crowd to the love-fest between Lu and his be-lu-vers (see what I did there?), the party is only going to get bigger.

• Chris Brown partners with Aus artist Kid Zoom for a collaboration
• Kanye West is the reason we have to listen to Kim Kardashian sing. Strike two sir.
• The Game’s new mix-tape, Purp & Patron is out. Hosted by DJ Skee and Funkmaster Flex, you can download it here.
• Nicki Minaj on Le Grand Journal
• Kanye? New album? This year? Might almost make up for Kim. Wait, no, probably not.

(P.S Although she can’t see shyt and I’ve seen more natural looking hair on Barbies, this is a better way of switching things up Vybz.)

7 days till I get my Lupe/M.I.A./Blue King Brown/Blackmilk fix with TGM! The festival begins today in Auckland and ends in Perth on the 6th of February. If you haven’t got tickets yet, may I ask what you are waiting for?

A couple of clips in case you’re still debating why you should join us at BDO:

Eds Note 25.01.11: Vybz just released a statement regarding his use of “cakesoap” that lightens his skin.

“I’m my own man, and as such I do my own thing. When black women stop straightening their hair and wearing wigs and weaves, when white women stop getting lip and butt injections and implants, when bald men stop getting hair transplants, and when people stop getting nose jobs and cosmetic surgery then I’ll stop using the ‘cakesoap’ and we’ll all live naturally ever after. Until then F**k you all.”.

And that’s all he wrote.

So I was just over at Necole Bitchie and apparently Vybz Kartel believes bleaching his skin for a ‘new image’ is akin to fairer folks tanning themselves.

Adijah Palmer I cannot begin to tell you how incorrect your thinking is. Because I have a tendency to get all shouty regarding things I’m passionate about I’m going to attempt to keep this brief but basically, Black and White* skin and the ways you can treat it are not the same. In 2011 it is not cool to go out and tan yourself, due to a small condition called SKIN CANCER. The fake tan market has, however, taken off. Mr. Palmer, do you know why the fake tan industry is so popular? Because white people like the look of dark skin. Olive, tanned, brown, golden – whatever you want to call it, they want their skin to be darker than it is. In the UK the fake tanning industry is worth over £41million. That is just the UK which has a huge migrant population with strong black communities – including those of your homeland Jamaica. In fact, the population of white people in the UK is one of the few that is decreasing. That means a smaller amount of people are spending more money to have what you were given. Dark skin.

Listen, I know life ain’t easy when you don’t look like everyone else but Adijah, Vybz, my dear confused man, you are 1. Jamaican and 2. a dancehall artist. It’s not like you’re trying to crack the heavy metal scene (no disrespect, but Korn et al are not known for the representation of pigment-rich people). Your reasoning, that you’re trying out a new look, is frankly bullshit. You want to compare bleaching to tanning? Ok how about this. If you continue to use skin bleaching creams, like those people who like to literally tan till they can tan no more you too can develop skin cancer. You know what else you can get? Liver damage, kidney damage or poisoning.

You want to change your look? Dye your hair. Shave it. Grow it. Braid it. Dread it. Get more tattoos. Get piercings. Get some African scarring done if it floats your boat. But don’t insult our intelligence by bleaching your skin and saying it’s nothing. Every article I’ve read while trying to understand your point of view keeps repeating the same thing regarding the chemical composition of skin bleaching creams: HIGHLY TOXIC. Adijah Palmer you have to be a sick man to voluntarily apply something that is blatantly injurious to your health. And when I say you’re sick, I mean that with the utmost sincerity. Bleaching your beautiful brown skin is, to me, a sign of something seriously wrong with your self esteem and confidence. Put the cream down, and get some help.

*Ed Note: I’m beige, meaning I have an equal amount of Black and White people in my family. If you have a problem with the use of these terms to describe folks of dark/light persuasion, take it up with your therapist, race relations councillor or your mum.